It’s Your Fault That I’m Still Alive

Have you ever wanted to die, but didn’t want to hurt the people you love? I know that feeling very well. I once had a conversation with a friend in which I accused her of forcing me to stay alive, simply by caring about me. This poem focuses on the connections that anchor us to life (whether we want them to or not).

 

Like a tree, I stand in place
My branches are burning
But my roots hold me down
So that I cannot run from the flames
No one else knows what it’s like to be a tree on fire

It’s no easy feat to chop down a tree,
Though I already feel as if I am being cut with an axe
Over and over again, by no one in particular—
If only I would fall down already, so I could go to sleep

I am the tree, and you are the roots

Because of your hope,
And your happy life

Because of your good intentions,
And the pain that you have never felt

Because you love me,

Because I love you,

It’s your fault that I’m still alive.

 

2 thoughts on “It’s Your Fault That I’m Still Alive

  1. Through all the decades of my depressions, I only two, maybe three times seriously considered killing myself. I’ve always wondered why that was so, but now I suspect after reading your poem it might have been because of the love of my family.

    Thanks for sharing that.

    Liked by 1 person

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