He returns with a pair of boxing gloves, holds up a pillow from the couch. “Punch it,” he says. “Beat the depression up.” Crying harder now, I take a pathetic swing at the pillow. It’s not that this isn’t helping; … Continue reading Fighting Depression with Love
Sometimes I wonder if it’s my own fault when I’m depressed. Shouldn’t I have seen it coming? And if I did, what if I had acted differently to prevent it from getting worse? I shouldn’t have crawled back into bed. … Continue reading Is it My Fault I’m Depressed?
Depression reverberates around the room, and I wonder if it is real, or just an echo of last night’s suffering. The depression returns and repeats, like the pressing down of a single key on a piano. Again. And again. And … Continue reading Depression on Repeat
Things you have told yourself: There are so many things wrong with you, I don’t even know where to begin. You are stupid, ugly, and fat. I can’t even stand to look at you. I’m sure no one else can, … Continue reading Things You Would Never Say (To Someone Else)
“Do one thing today that your depression doesn’t want you to do.” The advice is a constant refrain in your head as you lie, with your eyes closed, under the covers. The dirty dishes are in the sink; the laundry … Continue reading If You Do Only One Thing Today