I recently read an article that mentioned the concept of being a stranger to yourself, and that resonated with me on a deep level. In a sense, it really defines what having Bipolar Disorder is like for me. I don’t … Continue reading I Am a Stranger
I imagine standing in line, clutching a doctor’s note that is supposed to relieve me of performing my civic duty. I will be surrounded by strangers, each with their own excuses for why they cannot perform theirs: a job, a … Continue reading A Jury of My Peers
You said it was all over, you were going to leave. You couldn’t stand it anymore: the ups and downs, the low self-esteem, the whining. You couldn’t stand me anymore. You didn’t know how you had held on for so … Continue reading The Conversation that Never Happened
Have you ever wanted to die, but didn’t want to hurt the people you love? I know that feeling very well. I once had a conversation with a friend in which I accused her of forcing me to stay alive, simply by caring about me. This poem focuses on the connections that anchor us to life (whether we want them to or not).
Like a tree, I stand in place
My branches are burning
But my roots hold me down
So that I cannot run from the flames
No one else knows what it’s like to be a tree on fire
Continue reading “It’s Your Fault That I’m Still Alive”
This is a song I wrote about a year ago, frustrated and feeling trapped by my Bipolar Disorder. It is very hard to know that it will always be there, and that I often can’t trust the thoughts in my own head. That I have to take pills every day just to stay safe, and that I have to accept my limitations, which, most days, are many. The lyrics are below, following the audio file.