It’s Your Fault That I’m Still Alive

Have you ever wanted to die, but didn’t want to hurt the people you love? I know that feeling very well. I once had a conversation with a friend in which I accused her of forcing me to stay alive, simply by caring about me. This poem focuses on the connections that anchor us to life (whether we want them to or not).


Like a tree, I stand in place
My branches are burning
But my roots hold me down
So that I cannot run from the flames
No one else knows what it’s like to be a tree on fire
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Not Free: Original Song and Lyrics

This is a song I wrote about a year ago, frustrated and feeling trapped by my Bipolar Disorder. It is very hard to know that it will always be there, and that I often can’t trust the thoughts in my own head. That I have to take pills every day just to stay safe, and that I have to accept my limitations, which, most days, are many. The lyrics are below, following the audio file.

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